Hillbilly Hell

Hubby and I are very easy to get along with.   Really….we are.

When we moved into this house in May 2004, we nicknamed some of our neighbors. Who doesn’t do that? Anyway, the guy behind us is the “Axe Murderer” as he is a quiet man who you never see……just like when a neighbor is interviewed after a murder and they ALWAYS say…”he was a quiet neighbor….he kept to himself…” That’s OUR backyard neighbor. Our side neighbors (We live on a corner lot, so we only have 1 side neighbor…..THANK GOD!) were promptly named “The Hillbillies.” They have an ok house…….they do nothing to the outside…….but then they have an atrocious tin-roofed, screen ripped, dilapidated deck in the back which houses old mops, brooms, carpets, etc. It’s such an eyesore.

Anyway, last summer, we started to get to know the girl (Of the couple). She is sweet, but doesn’t have a whole lot going for her in the brain department. But she is nice! So, I like her. He is NEVER home, so I can’t say that I like him or dislike him much.

Last summer, while Punky and I were in IL visiting my family, Hubby called me to say that our lawn had been burnt by a fire that was started on the hillbilles’ deck. WHAT?!?? Apparently, on her way off to work, she had smoked a cigarette outside on the deck and threw it into an empty flower pot. The cigarette later reignited then fell off the deck and onto the grass…..which was VERY DRY due to our dry summer…..and up went the grass in flames. Thankfully, a guy driving down our street saw the flames, stopped, and sprayed the fire with a garden hose. He had most of it out by the time the fire engines arrived. Hubby promptly emailed me the following pictures (Although I have added in some notes to show you more clearly):

Fast forward to this spring……..2008.

Isn’t it just a lovely view we have? 🙂

April 20, 2008….

The lady calls me over to the fence. Mind you, she is dressed in a fuzzy robe, big fuzzy slippers, huge gaucho sweats…. I walk over to her and then ……. I am bombarded.

Apparently, sometime this spring, Hubby walked over to the fence……facing their deck, with his hands on his hips and shook his head in disgust. She was standing in her kitchen window which looks down where he was standing. She felt “violated, uncomfortable” and now she just doesn’t know what to think of us.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? Have you seen your deck, lady?

So, Hubby was actually taking pictures of Punky playing in the yard….and happened to catch this moment on camera……

I promptly went in the house and told hubby he was a putz and that I had just been yelled at for his actions. He explained that yes, he had walked over there……..because he noticed besides the falling down screens, the mops, brooms, carpet rolls, and other trash in their “porch” the hole from the fire was still there….(they had just resided the whole house since the fire had burned some of their siding off, too) So, he shook his head and walked away.

So…..Now when I am in my own backyard…..i feel like a schmuck if I turn ever-so-slightly and glance in the direction of her house….which according to her would be the wrong direction to look! Is she always standing there in her kitchen window….waiting to catch us doing something else “violating.”

I wish this was the only thing I had to worry about…..whether or not the neighbors approved of my gawd-awful, atrocious, dilapidated, falling apart, eyesore of a porch/deck.

Good grief.

7 thoughts on “Hillbilly Hell

  1. That’s pretty bad! We have a house like that on the corner of our street – I shake my head at them all the time. Hope I don’t get busted like you did 🙂

  2. Oh – and when I was in high school we had a friends house that we would always hang out at. We’d joke that his neighbor was a serial killer. Fast forward to about 5 years later…I came home from work one day, and my husband (boyfriend then) was watching tv and there was a news story about that neighbor and he WAS a serial killer. Yikes!!

  3. Tendrils and I will blow the lid off the Ax Murder case yet….. What is he carrying out of the house in all those garbage bags? How much garbage can one person, living alone, generate? And how about the women we see go in, but don’t see coming out……? Hm……

  4. Bwah ha ha ha ha!! Well – if she REALLY wants to feel violated – just send her a link to this blog!!! 🙂

  5. Befriend the “Axe murderer” and tell him about this grudge the neighbor lady is carrying. If everything goes according to plan (and by plan, i mean the movie ‘Billy Madison’) things should take care of themselves.

  6. My suggestion would be to plant a vine like morning glory that will weave itself in and out of the chain link and cover it. Plant some tall, tall shrubs that will form a natural, high fence and then you won’t ever have to look at their house again. 🙂 You could also get bamboo fencing for permanent instead of seasonal privacy. Still plant the shurbs though. lol. Like this: http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/swatch_image.cfm?window=1&prod=14430&ranknum=6&thumbid=5340&thumbpage=1&list=5335,5336,5337,5338,5339,5340&breeds=1
    and this:
    http://www.nurserytrees.com/Privacy_Tree_landing_page.htm

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