my life today…

Sorry I haven’t written for awhile. Nothing is new….I am STILL bleeding…… 18 days after the miscarriage started full-blown. I don’t have much else to say. The sight of blood makes me want to vomit. I feel so empty inside.

I don’t even know what to say to anyone… I just want it to be over.

My hcg levels went from 200 down to 30 last week. I will go in for another test on Wednesday. (They need to be below 5). It’s taken me the whole month of April so far to go from 9800 to 30! 😦

I ordered over 50 books for my classroom this past week, and I picked up over half of them at Barnes & Noble today. I read Th1rteen R3asons Why by Jay Asher and Middle School Is Worse Than Meatloaf: A Year Told Through Stuff by Jennifer Holm. Both were phenomenal books for totally different reasons.

Meet Ginny in Middle School is Worse Than Meatloaf:

Ginny has ten items on her big to-do list for seventh grade. None of them, however, include accidentally turning her hair pink. Or getting sent to detention for throwing frogs in class. Or losing the lead role in the ballet recital to her ex-best friend. Or the thousand other things that can go wrong between September and June. But it looks like it’s shaping up to be that kind of a year! Here’s the story of one girl’s worst school year ever — told completely through her stuff.

Meet Clay in Th1rteen R3asons Why:

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker–his classmate and crush–who committed suicide two weeks earlier.

On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out how he made the list.

Through Hannah and Clay’s dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers.

Both books were tremendously well written! Meatloaf is such a creative story told through report cards, hall passes, post-it-notes, newspaper articles, etc. It’s not a written out, traditional, text. Th1rteen R3asons grabs you from the start and doesn’t let you go until the end…during that time you’re in for quite the journey! (Go to the author’s website too for interactive parts of the novel.)

I am off to bed. I took an hour and a half nap this afternoon……but I really need to get some more sleep. I’m just exhausted – again.

4 thoughts on “my life today…

  1. Oh sweetie – I’m so sorry you are still dealing with the constant reminder of that tragedy. I hope and pray you feel better soon. You are still in my thoughts, chica.

  2. I could obviously guess at the emotional horrors of your situation, but I was completely unaware of the physical trauma that it entails.

    It sounds so insufficient, but I hope that you are feeling better soon.

    My warmest thoughts are with you.

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